let us sing for the moon
by leviadrache
Summary: Chris watches the moon every night, waiting for Kaito to come back. So does Mizael. [written for the prompt "restless"]


Looking at the moon feels wrong.

Seeing it isn't supposed to have such an effect on him, so that he can barely avert his gaze from it again. It isn't supposed hurt that much, should actually make him feel nothing at all.

_It's not the moon that you're looking at._

The voices in his head have _his_ voice ever since that day when he and the others came back from the dead again. It's an absurd idea to believe that _he_, the only person he hoped for, the only person he prayed to stay safe, is still up there, but Chris practically clings to the idea of _him_ still being alive up there.

_He_ just has to be there, Chris just needs _him_ to be there.

_He_ should be here. When he and Michael woke up, he wanted to run towards _him_, to finally hold _him_ - like he always wanted to, but never thought it was the right moment to make a move, a thing he deeply regrets now - and pretend everything could be all right for the two of them again.

Somehow, Chris keeps staying awake until the middle of the night lately, standing on various roof tops in the city and gazing at the moon, and every night feels the same.

Still, he doesn't stay at home, doesn't try laying in his bed to get some sleep, even when he has had way too little sleep lately. It's because he knows that looking at the moon hurts, but not seeing the moon for one night hurts even more. After all, it's not completely impossible that maybe, maybe he could see some signs of _him_.

Yuma and Haruto and Mizael told him how they saw _his body_ fall onto the cold ground of the moon, told him how they saw the broken pieces of the rocket that shattered when _he_ tried to land on the moon, told him that even if _he_ didn't suffocate there, there wasn't any way for _him_ to get back down to earth again, but still –

as long as Chris hasn't seen it with his own eyes, which he hasn't yet, he just can't believe that _he_ is actually supposed to be dead on the moon. Even when Mizael told him about the way, the light faded of _his_ eyes and Mizael's own eyes seemed to get wet – and if it would have been any one else, Chris would have been afraid that they might start to cry, – but even then he still refuses to believe he would never see _him_ again; so he just keeps watching the moon, not willing to let himself rest.

Refusing to believe it, when even Yuma and the other children already accepted it, is stupid and childish and Chris knows it, but it just can't be real.

It can't be real that he'll never hear _his _dumb deep voice again, that sent shivers down his spine whenever _he_ calls him "Chris", pronounced in that dumb Japanese way of _his_ and it sounded so wrong, but at the same time sounded so _right_.

It can't be real that they'll never be able to celebrate the victory both of them worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for. It just can't be real that they wasted everything for a victory, they couldn't even celebrate together, a victory that can't even be called victory at all, because everything they won doesn't matter to Chris if _he_ is not there.

It can't be real that _he_ is actually on the moon and dead.

One night, Chris sees Mizael, standing on a balcony. His long blond hair swirls around his face, seems to follow the light breezes and reflect the soft moon light. His pale face looks so bright, his lips moving, forming words Chris can't understand.

But Chris does hear his voice. A voice that seems to sing songs for the stars, deep and resonating and simply beautifully, as if it almost dances through the night. Even when he can't make out what the voice is singing about, only the sound of it already tells a story, stories about brave warriors and mystic creatures and the moon.

Chris quietly listens to Mizael singing, singing the song of the stars, and at some point stops trying to understand the text. The melody itself feels so natural as if it talks to his soul and he feels his mind calming down again. He closes his eyes, becoming fully absorbed by the melody.

He stands there, completely calm and peaceful for the first time since what felt like ages, until he hears that Mizael's song is a single simple name.

_Kaito_


End file.
